Erin and Matt are married.. that has nothing to do with this post.. but I thought it was worth mentioning..

so it's weird telling people you're going to seminary..

not weird like it doesn't seem right or anything.. but the conversation goes something like this..

"so, what are you doing now"
"not much, working, applying to seminary"
"oh.. that's exciting"
"umm.. uh.. yeah.. it is"

exciting.. exciting like a roller coaster, maybe.. it sure gets the adrenaline running..

but the truth is I am scared out of mind about it.. it's a big deal.. I just don't think that gets across..

maybe I should start saying it more clearly.. like, "I've decided to devote my whole life to Jesus no matter where it takes me or what it costs.. and right now I feel he is leading me to go to seminary.."

yeah.. that's a bit more true to life..

and a bit more terrifying..

maybe I should be a little less frightened by it.. but I'm not.. I suppose it's healthy, though.. Jesus doesn't make weak statements about the cost of following him..

and I suppose it is a kind of exciting.. mixed with reverent fear.. mixed with awe and wonder at how someone so big as God is would see fit to call me.. yeah, I said call.. I need to get more comfortable with that word..